In Fidonet, one can place a line at the bottom of messages that usually describes the system you're posting from. This Origin line is usually misused to show off witticisms in 78 characters or less; this is a collection of some of my favourites.
"'r you trying to get my daffodil drunk?" -Jabberwok
"Be the iceberg, not the titanic." - Caitlin Burke
"Ethics? ETHICS? ethics, SCHMETHICS!" - arifel
"even BOTS hate me!" - some newbie
"Excuse me, while I dance a little jig of despair."
"God save us from backwards-compatibility" -arifel
"Goddammit, are you chewing on the cat again?"
"help! i'm DISTINGUISHED!" - arifel
"His mind is like a steel trap... full of mice" - Foghorn Leghorn
"Hong, you really must go get a brain scan." -D Alexander
"Hong: make sense or die." - dava
"How do goths keep fit? Sir, Dancing and Fucking." - David Gerard
"I always thought Desade didn't go far enough." - arifel
"I can be very `ist' sometimes." - teddy
"i just wish i'd brought more chalk" - arifel at oxide
"I should tr- no, I shouldn't." - gossamer
"I wasn't put on god's earth to JERK OFF DOORS!" - arifel
"I'm cat furniture. again." - arifel
"I'm no good at seduction - that's why I have hair." - Josie
"I've been watching you sleep. You're wierd." -Heffer
"i've done stupider things in the name of fashion.." - arifel
"if wishes were horses, glue'd be cheaper." -arifel
"if you die and haunt me, i'm calling the catholics!" - black rose
"it only takes two to make a horde." - arifel
"It's horrible... I love it... what is it?" -Jill, `Hardware'
"it's small, it's glowing and it's MINE!" -kolreth
"It's some sort of twelve-inch thing." - Marian
"It's stopped moving! Cook it!" - .Nisaba
"Just when you think you can relax... there's Fra Angelico."
"Naturally, I said to myself, but why?" -Umberto Eco
"no binaries, please. not on a sunday." -arifel
"Not even god could blow bubbles in jelly, mike." - arifel
"Of *course* it's sticky - I've been sucking it." - Romany
"oh, no... you're crap!' - Dawn French to Penn and Teller
"Posessed, obviously. the Duck of Taunton lives again." - arifel
"Sex is a poor substitute for masturbation." -Quentin Crisp
"shhh! we don't want the TRUTH..." - Arifel
"Stay away from my armpit hair." - Skud
"Stay away from the Christians; they are bad for you." - Cat
"Step into the toilets for a minute - we'll see who's gay!" - loki
"that's not a fun way to destroy!" - Jabberwok
"That's not personality, that's blood." - bek
"there's no `Why' in this." - jabberwok examines the bottle cap
"This is easy... it makes you want to do it in the street!" - arifel
"This looks tasteful... i'll get some sandpaper." - arifel
"Three freddos and I'm anyone's." - Rachel
"We don't DO drugs - we TAKE them." - Loki
"well, i'll just go play with my OWN nipples, then." - arifel
"what we need, now, is some potatoes to test this on." - arifel
"what's this? a .sig file? wau. creeping net-ism." - arifel
"When I think about you, I touch my gerbil..." - Ace Lightning
"Who needs rational when your toes curl up?" -Beverly Crusher
"why don't sheep come with documentation?" -dava
"why would i want to collect them? i've got heaps of them." - BR
"You could tie balloons to your ears..." -Black Rose
'Tis the fate of genius to be ever copied, and never attributed - arifel
(hand nailed to forehead) it's a goth thing. - arifel
(irc)<kheitman> nk: I thought of you when the cat went stiff
(stands back, rubs chin) looks like a rectum from here. -arifel
... in other words, you're a git. - teddy
... nothing a whipper-snipper couldn't fix, really. -arifel
... unfortunately, we were both straight at the time. -gossamer
...and then there's Mirikai's plastic explosive dildo. -dava
a bit like a puppy standing over a steaming puddle of piss. - dava
actually, i'm a giant cat hammock, too - arifel
After all, sperm in the circuitry doesn't help - Entrippy
After the initial shock wore off, it was quite nice. -arifel
Ahm not twisted, ahm just pretending. - khayman
all you'd need is a pair of handcuffs and a broom-handle - arifel
almost the same but completely different - teddy
AnarchArtists: enemies of the State of boredom
And 2000 milliamps causes an elephant to break wind -cyrus lesser
And all will be fine, dandy, and brightly coloured. -Romany
And i just sat up and it fell off my head and surprised me. - goss
Are we talking sea mammals here? - Leadgend
Arifel don't scare me - Zenith
Being dead or being in Geelong, it's all the same. -morte
bisexual multiple-persona goth discordian SF eroticist
Broken brains lead to *good* things - Entrippy
Character is what you are in the dark
Circumvent the dominant paradigm : be a submissive -Cyberpuck
come on up to my room and i'll digitise you - arifel
CONNECT THE GODDAMN DOTS! - ministry
consider my frogs refrained - loki
Damn. Oh well, on to plan B I guess... <sets fire to head> - Entrippy
Dip me in honey and throw me to the Lesbians!
Dora does what *DORA* wants to - aceL
Empathy is not synonymous with sympathy - nikolai's sister Ann
Equal rights for sex toys. I can't believe I said that. -sephrael
everyone should have at least one potato. just in case. -arifel
Excuse me while I have an erection - Kolreth
Fatal but not serious
for YOU, it's gonna be an AMPALLANG through the HEAD. -Arifel
Foreskins are fun, I think. One more thing to play with. - Jab
FUCK no. not on a sunday anyway - mirikai
Fusion + Necrophilia = Meat pies - The Nameless One
giving nipples back to barbie since 1992
Goth is the preserve of the intelligent poor person.
goths don't NEED erections.
Great! We'll be joined together in Cthulhu - Khayman
Green. Blue. Ultra Violet. Mega Violent. - Entrippy
Greetings and hallucinations. - Irv Koch
ha Ha. vfery funny. My head hurts. Count orlock
ha. i don't have ANY of them. i've got chickens, though -jab
happiness is a dead slug, an egg beater and a 40ft length of rope - teddy
heh. wait until you find out what it died of - arifel
hell is three virgos ordering a pizza
hey, that never stopped any of me before - arifel
hey, we're seriously into labelling, here! - arifel
I *love* geek smut :) - Skud
I am *not* in denial. - arifel
i am many, but i never claimed to be an entire nation before - arifel
I am MORE than clever. - Richard Heppell
I can't help it if my head's a Cthulhu monster - Entrippy
I couldn't find any context. Maybe I'll try behind the couch.
I do quite enough walking around in circles as it is, thank you - Arifel
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to do. - jabberwok
i don't forget antichrists that easily - jabberwok
I doubt that one's first fisting is to the elbow.
i dunno. i gather it's edible. which can't be a bad thing. - arifel
I like kids, but i don't think i could eat a whole one.
I Love Children... That's Why I'm Not Having Any
I love that eating the dead rugby players story. -Jabberwok
I much prefer the cyberfuck-overload theory. - AceL
i need another way to lower my purity. Bring On The Goat - Orlock
i refuse to snap, crackle OR pop at the behest of breakfast. - dava
I used to have an iron deficiency... then i became a Goth!
I want to balance the spongy bit on the spiky bit. -Khayman
I wonder if we can bond with Tiny Teddies - Entrippy
I would still have sold your son to white slavers... -Liche
I'd much rather be talking to someone who isn't hanging from hooks - bek
I'd rather be sticking a pine cone up Winona's butt
I'll stand on this block of ice wearing a noose, and wait... - Khayman
i'm a god. i can do WHATEVER I BLOODY WELL WANT - Orlock
i'm going to get the yellow pages and look up Rent-A-Goth. - Arifel
I'm going to go rescue my potatoes...' - bek
I'm innocent! - Bek
I'm not a geek - I'm just multi-talented. - Count Orlock
i'm not OLD! i'm not... oh, what's the use. - arifel
I'm not really a waif - I've got breasts - Romany
I'm sick of my flopsy being mistreaded... - Kolreth
I'm sure Tien could suck his own dick if he tried -Khayman
i'm trying to collect 24 of them so i can make a bed -arifel
I've calmed down a lot. Or at least my blowtorch broke. -Orlock
I've found a closet the right size for you - Kolreth
I've no mind, so it doesn't frog - Entrippy
IF is *SUCH* an interesting word, don't you think, Sharon? - Gerry
if it's got tits or it needs winsock.dll, it's a problem.
If we had a minibus we could desecrate some graves -Arifel
If we want to be treated like that, we'll have our own children. - Sandy
if you can't understand it, your teachers are inadequate. - arifel
If you loved me you'd let me eat your brain.
If you've got it, flaut it.
Incorrigible (in-k) a. (Of person or habit)...
Insanity LIES truth - 'trippy
Is this some pathetic attempt at bribery? Tell me more. -gregh
it crawled off and is now seeking U.N. recognition. -Arifel
it is far safer to be feared than loved. - machiavelli
it is the business of the future to be dangerous. -hawkwind
it's a strange feeling i don't get from wielding knives -arifel
It's not an erection, my jeans do that anyway. - Liche
JUST ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG - Winston Smith
Kolreth - because blunt things can hurt too.
let go of my ears, i know what i'm doing! - teddy
Let's mine the harbour - Frank Zappa
Let's put this in perspective. They pay me. - Khayman
metamorphs do it AS anything.
More fun than a barrel of formaledehyde, me - Entrippy
most of them are blondes and in the fire department -russ wuertz
most people have a similar someone. - mirikai
mummy long legs is four storeys high and wields a bazooka - benuti
my MOTHER is old enough to be my mother... - entrippy
nequaquam vacuum (The void does not exist)
Neutered iguanas are loving and good
no, that's there (points). this is here. -arifel
Nobody cuddles a Cardassian.
NORMAL is a setting on a washing-machine
nothing but the email to live for
Now go back to the shallow end, stupid....
obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection
Oh the indignities the english language suffers - teddy
Oh, cookie, cookie, cookie start with C!
oh, I love you. i just won't be nice to you, that's all. - Liche
okay then, clever-trousers. let's see you do tetris in html. - arifel
okay, so i'm a little odd at three a.m. - .nisaba
Old Goths don't die - they just wish they could. - Arifel
Old Immortals don't die. - Arifel
Old Timelords don't die, they just look different. -Arifel
on the other hand, i don't believe that i exist. - Arifel
Once i've eaten something, i don't care to see it again. - arifel
Once the nose is up and all blood has left the brain... -gattinger
one goth's jelly is another goth's jam - arifel
other than that i am very reasonable and easy to get along with - wuertz
Pointless pedantry. It's a living, though... - Liche
proud to be [X] other
Queer is beautiful - Dave Hatch
scream in terror as your otters are crushed under the treads - 'trippy
Seems Julian Forsythe-Hyphen-Jenetalià isn't in a terribly talkative mood.
she's bisexual, but, alas, not with me. - Ace Lightning
Short is the pain and long is the ornament - Pinhead
shower me with tomatoes, that's the way to my heart -jabberwok
so shut up and kiss my tattoo! - ace lightning
so what did you expect lesbians in space to do? knit? -kel
sod off! i voted for Graeme Rimmer! - requiem
some days it just don't pay to get out of bed. - foghorn leghorn
some idiot has forced two chickens into the goat slot. -arifel
Tact is like wallpaper. It goes on better with a sledgehammer - Liche
Take her! Warp her! Destroy her mind! - Kolreth
tastes great - stays crunchy - lacerates your aesophagus.
Thank you... drive through now...
Thanks, and lose the dots. - den
That bloody spider was taunting me before I made it one with the floor - kol
that can't be real goth sex - we enjoyed it! - ruth
That's entertainment! - Vlad the Impaler
That's SAINT nikolai to you, buddy!
the evil have no need of an advocate. - arifel
the only plan is - there ISN'T any plan! - russ wuertz
The problem is, things look more interesting when they're wet - Arifel
there are several unexciting ways for underwear to die -jabberwok
Tie down those tribbles, I'm a-coming - Entrippy
Vegemite is solidified evil... - Black Rose
we need more research into hamster sex. - requiem
welcome to the wonderful world of `i don't remember saying that!'
well, it isn't often that i get to flame people with a reason. - Arifel
Well, yeah, there is that. But then there's always that -Khayman
What *did* I call my genitalia? - Entrippy
what we need is NEW DEAD BABY JOKES. - arifel
What's a flunky between friends? - arifel
What's that straight guy doing with that poof? -Cyberpuck
When I finally got some, I found out it was all a lie. -Sephrael
Where do you put the jam in a klein doughnut?
Who died and made you Arifel?
WHY am i watching `Hogan's Heroes'? - arifel
why don't you go back to sodomising altar boys? - Dava
you intrigue me. bend over. - Arifel
You've been drinking from those bottles with Mr.Yuck on them again.
`Ain't no fun roughin' you up - you likes it too much!' -Yosemite Sam
